Odd Man Out
by Random Disasters
Summary: This is a one shot written from Jacob's point of view as he decides on how he wants to handle Edward being back in Bella's life. M for language.


A/N: Well….okay. First _Twilight _one on the stake. It's a one shot, I'm not too committed to _Twilight_ for a series. Personally, I love Jacob because I can relate to him. We've been through a bunch of the same crap. I'm talking…a lot.

So this is from his point view. Reviews would be nice.

:]

M for language….

If everyone likes it I might make a sequel to it…but I don't know. Only if I reach a certain amount of reviews. Thanks for reading!

--Disaster

[X]

Odd Man Out

By Disaster

Suicidal werewolf….why do I even try?

_Cut it out, Jake. None of us want to feel that way._

I growled in low response to Sam's thought. I wasn't in the mood for his shit right now.

_So its okay for you to talk about how in love you are with Emily and its not okay for me to be down in the dumps about something else? Not all of us are wired the same way as you are._

I was probably going to pay for that remark later but right now I just didn't care. I was sick of it all. It was one of those days where I just wanted to curl up into a ball and just…die. Of course being a werewolf made that impossible. Fuck this.

Fuck being a werewolf.

_Aw, come on Jake!_

_Can it Seth._

_Sorry._

I normally wouldn't have snapped at Seth like that either, but today I just wasn't in the mood for anyone's shit. Literaly. I just want someone to kill me…and I want them to do it the hard way. Maybe if Bella looks at me long enough I'll die.

Hah--right. She doesn't want to hurt her 'other half.'

Fuck it.

I don't care what she thinks I am or who she wants me to be. I'm sick of all this pain…hurt. I'm sick of being turned away, pushed off to the sidelines till she needs me again. That's what I'm here for--the best friend. I've been okay with that till that--that--LIFE TAKER came back. Bella and I…we could have gone somewhere more. We were so close.

So fucking close!

Why did she fall for someone who doesn't deserve her? She could be with someone who will treat her better…be more healthier for her. I could do that. I can be that guy. She knows that…why won't she just accept the fact that she can't have both? She needs to make up her fucking mind. I'm go insane over here. I can't take it much longer. Either she picks me or him. I don't give a fuck what happens to her if she picks him. Its not my problem anymore. I'm not in charge of her.

Yet, of course, I still cared for her. So much of her was inside of me that I just couldn't let her go…I wouldn't ever be able to let her go.

Embry's voice whispered out to me,

_Time to move on, man. You get close…and then you lose. Listen to your own advice. You can' t have everything…and maybe she's the thing you can' t get._

His words struck me like a fresh slap in the face. He was repeating what I had thought to myself back at me. And when he said it the way he did, in that soothing voice, the understanding voice, it was like he knew what I was going through. But--he was Embry. My best friend. Freaky werewolf connections or not; he would still be on the same page with me on this whole Bella thing even if he couldn't actually feel what I was feeling.

_You can't have everything, dude. Just…drop it. If she picks the blood-sucker then she picks him. It isn't anything we can stop. You know you want her to be happy--we all do. Please, Jake, just let her go. This is what she wants and what you want could be something a lot more better. Let her go. Go find someone worth your time._

_You don't understand, Embry. She IS worth my time. She's everything I want. She's everywhere I want to be. _

The pack was silent as they drank in the depth of my last thought. Even I was a little shocked by it. It was Seth who whispered the next line, catching me off guard,

_What happened to not caring anymore?_

I felt myself go numb.

Well shit.

_Everyone phase back. Give Jake some space._

_Thanks, Sam._

Everyone said their goodbyes as they phased out one by one. Soon it was only me and Seth. Which, to my surprise, it didn't bother me having him here. I buckled onto the ground, burying my face in my paws.

What was I going to do?

_Jake?_

_You can stay Seth._

_I'll get in trouble…_

_Don't worry about it. I'll tell Sam I wanted you to stay._

_Won't he get mad that you didn't ask him?_

_It's Sam. He doesn't give a fuck who I ask to be here with me and who I don't._

_Don't say that Jake…_

_Its true._

Seth sat down next to me, placing his chin on my back. I heaved a great sigh as I ran through my memories of my time with Bella. The way she used to hold herself together…the way she would smile and her eyes would light up every time she saw me…that was back when I mattered.

Back when I thought we could turn into something else.

Damn her.

I already know who she's going to pick so there isn't any point in holding on anymore. Fuck it. Fuck it all. She was going to pick the filthy blood sucker that broke her heart. I was there to help her pick up the pieces and put it back together. And then she just lets him back into her life, back into her heart, like nothing had ever happened. I had never seen anyone so hurt in my life. Bella was a wreck when he left her and when she went to go 'save' him…that just settled the score.

I'm the odd man out…and even though I don't like it I'm just the best friend.

Because I know that no matter what I tell myself--all this shit about not talking to her anymore--I'm not going to do it. She's apart of me. She has my heart. I didn't really breathe unless I'm near her. It's like…she's the one holding me. Even though I know I didn't Imprint on her…she's still…the one. I feel like I owe her at least a little bit. She can't get rid of me because I'm the one who's holding half of her heart now. She was divided in half when he left.

That's his fault--not hers.

None of this would have happened if it hadn't been for the damn blood sucker. Damn him too.

_So…that's it? That's your choice?_

I let out another sigh and then nodded my big head.

_I'm just the best friend now._

Seth stood up, walked off, and phased back to his human form. I was left alone with my thoughts. I pushed myself off my feet and lifted my head into the sky. I let out a long, drawn out howl…one to signal my choice to the others, and another to show that I was still in odd man out; best friend or not….I was still going to be in pain.

Fuck.


End file.
